WWJD

I am of, “a certain age,” when these rubber bracelets made their presence known. If you weren’t wearing Lance Armstrong’ yellow, Livestrong,” bracelet you were probably wearing a WWJD bracelet—what would Jesus do?

Though the songs before the bracelets titled, “one of us,” and, “st Theresa,” were more my speed—thank you Joan Osborne. With the questioning outlook that I could really grasp and agree with in my adolescent years. I like to think that I had friends in all social circles and these songs made me feel less judge mental and more inclusive.

As I sit here now at the laundromat I reflect on the WWJD bracelets. I recently had been reading articles about celebrities who give back—large sums of charities of their choice. Volunteering time and gifting freely.

It’s a challenge not to think of myself these days.

Our weather changed overnight from 100/90 degree weather to 50/70 degree weather. I had to dig through my dilapidated camper to find last years winter clothes. Sort through what fit and what didn’t. And now I am washing them all—too small and just right—so that I can donate all the too small and keep the just right. Each season I do this. I give clothes away because I know how hard it is to afford clothes for my kids.

I give food to the food bank when I have extra and hope they can help me when I’m in need.

I drive a car where two people I does don’t roll up—even in torrential lightening storms to get my kids to school and 20/30 degree weather usually for the same reason. They keep blankets and tarps at the ready so that we are able to make it without looking too disheveled when we get there.

I drive on borrowed time because I haven’t been able to update my tags—they’re almost a full year expired. And thanks to our visitor population I have two back lights without covers held together legally with red tape.

Currently, I am living in a friends pool house because my camper is literally falling apart. The bottom is falling out from under it and it is genuinely unsafe to stay in let alone move to a new location.

One of the main reasons Sam won’t live with us is because it’s all embarrassing to him. It’s embarrassing to all the kids. I am the parent they don’t want to be seen with. They want me to park away from the school and they walk to get there.

The older kids volunteer at the food pantry but I go as a customer when they aren’t working so as not to embarrass them further. My hair is literally falling out in clumps due to stress over life. I take advantage of all free cultural events so that my kids feel like they are doing and participating but they and I am sad that we picnic and cannot participate fully in activities and meals that cost extra. Activities we used to regularly participate in we haven’t partaken in at all the past year.

I am really at my wits end. I had to pull all the quarters out of my change cup to wash laundry today. I spent my last cash on hand for soccer cleats for my oldest to try out for high school soccer. They were $182 so I wasn’t able to buy socks or shin guards.

Frankly, I’m glad I have a few quarters left after laundry because it’s going into the gas tank.

So if you’re a celebrity randomly reading this lol I’m here. Single mom desperately in need of help.

Truly,

Sara